random funny quotes from a book

in the context of a wife trying to get out of having sex:

....A wife can always take to saying loudly, "Is it in yet?' Followed by 'They always say that men with tiny equipment have great personalities. And you do darling! You really really DO'

Other variations

1)What am I supposed to do with it? Floss?

2) So, which dwarf are you exactly?

3) A toothpick! Why? Do I have food in my teeth?

4) You know, love, I saw an episode of Nip/Tuck where they performed surgery to fix that.